Intellectual Agnosticism & Imaginative Religion

I recently told a friend that I am probably intellectually an agnostic who nonetheless chooses to be Christian. I choose Christianity because of my birth and upbringing, and because of the imaginative impact of an image (a concept?) distilled in the words to a Latin motet set by Anton Bruckner (among others) -- "Christus Factus Est:"

Christus factus est pro nobis obediens usque ad mortem,

mortem autem crucis.

Propter quod et Deus exaltavit illum et dedit illi nomen,

quod est super omne nomen.

The motet quotes from Philippians 2:5-11: "Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God as something to be exploited, but emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, being born in human likeness. And being found in human form, he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death—even death on a cross. Therefore God also highly exalted him and gave him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bend, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."

As a child, I was taught that Christ's death on the cross could mean one of two things: (a) Christ was paying the just demands of "the Law" on our behalf, or (b) Christ's death showed the rest of the universe (including countless "unfallen" worlds) just how bad sin was. I do not find either of these two options particularly inspiring.

Option (a) makes me think of an Celestial Accountant finding a clever tax dodge that just might work. Option (b) makes me see a Universal Puppetmaster, who drags humanity into the middle of a Cosmic Object Lesson without giving it any choice in the matter.

Over time, I found another option that is (at least for me) emotionally satisfying. And here is a tentative stab at describing the option:

Inherent in giving creatures free will is the potential that those creatures will use their free will in ways that harm both them and others. What if God, recognizing that potential, decided that if the creatures he allowed to exist misused their power of choice, he would make sure that he took into himself the full measure of that misused will? Rather than standing aloof from the effects of free will, he would be in the middle of it?

To put in in playground terms, if free will created the potential that someone would try to bloody someone else's nose, then God made sure he was one of those who got punched.

Philippians says that God emptied himself, took on the form of a slave, and suffered the torture of death on a cross. . . . In the passage, God seems to me to be taking a direct hit with full impact from humanity's bent toward cruelty - and also taking responsibility for designing a system where cruelty is possible. . . . And THAT captures my imagination.